Let’s Chat – Flashpoint Paradox
Slaus and I got together on Skype to talk about DC’s latest animated feature, Flashpoint Paradox. What did we think?
Digital Distraction: This post is brought to you by the letters: OMG
Slaus: and W T F
Digitial Distraction: Indeed.
Digitial Distraction: Let’s jump right in. The thing that gets you about Flashpoint Paradox is the way the movie starts out. Everything is calm, harmless, innocent, average. They fool you into thinking, “Oh, it’s going to be another one of those movies. The villains band together and chicanery ensues.” Nope.
Slaus: You start watching that movie and if you have seen any other DC movies, you think everything is going to be the same. Intro, introduction to scene which will be important later involving the villain, cue to heroes origin…rinse and repeat
Slaus: NOT this.
Slaus: I will admit to being pretty distracted in the beginning by the artwork..which i hated.
Digitial Distraction: The artwork… I have never seen a Superman look so mutated. And who the frick manages to make Wonder Woman look matronly?
Slaus: Yeah the artwork seemed way to exaggerated for my tastes, but.. it is what it is.
Digitial Distraction: And the villains? Ha! Man, you’d better watch your back when the heroes show up!
Slaus: I would have rather apocalypse showed up….
Slaus: I was not ready
Slaus: It would have been better if Darkseid showed up in a van with painted windows that said: FREE candy, on the side, and it left a trail of blood n screams as it drove off… I WOULD HAVE BEEN PREPARED FOR THAT!
Digitial Distraction: I would have been prepared for anything except what was shown. Everything I believed was a lie. Those heroes have the ancient spirits of evil inside them.
Slaus: Look…let’s put it out there.. in this story?? I was afraid of Aquaman… WHO fears Aquaman!!!
Digitial Distraction: That was priceless! Aquaman was never “threatening.” In this movie… you’d better take cover on a mountain somewhere. Do not let that fishy man find you. And Aqualad? Good gawd!
Slaus: Ok.. I cheered when I saw Aqualad… until he started doing things and stuff that revolved around slicing people open and canceling their christmas!!!
Digitial Distraction: Hahaha!
Slaus: I think that was the point things really started kicking in that….. ish just got real
Slaus: AND that was at the beginning!!
Digitial Distraction: Aqualad is known for his cool head. In this movie, Aqualad is like a Vulcan. He feels nothing. He kills without hesitation. He’s a freaking water ninja. Have my babies!
Slaus: And I don’t think he ever said a word!! all he did was murder death!
Digitial Distraction: Manta Ray shows up and just wrecks shop, while fighting along side Aqulad!
Slaus: I WAS NOT READY!!!
Digitial Distraction: I know!
Slaus: Ok but can we back it up for a second!!!??? Batman…
Slaus: Were you ready for that!!??
Digitial Distraction: There was really no warning. First of all. Batman is scaling rooftops, firing pistols.
Digitial Distraction: Full stop. PISTOLS!
Slaus: I”m trying not to give any spoilers here but….. SHEEEESH… BATMAN!
Digitial Distraction: When you see Batman shooting at people, you know it’s really real.
Slaus: He pulled guns from places i didn’t think guns could be stored.
Slaus: You know ish is 5 steps beyond real and once again… that was in the first quarter of the movie.
Digitial Distraction: Batman’s utility belt holds a plethora of devices and objects. Not here. In this movie, that belt holds guns, guns, ammo, and more guns.
Slaus: You forgot more guns.
Slaus: His guns had guns.
Digitial Distraction: And he just threw a broad off a building. No hesitation.
Slaus: This movie was so amazing.. there was just so much… STUFF… and the stuff yielded more crazy stuff!!
Slaus: It’s so hard to discuss this without spoiling it. So hard. But to put it in perspective for the people out there? In this movie.. I was terrified of Aquaman and wonder woman
Digitial Distraction: I guess we start with, forget everything you think you know about the Justice League.
Slaus: Aquaman.. who is always a passing joke.
Slaus: And Wonder Woman…whom I usually only think about in every carnal way possible.
Slaus: They scared me.
Digitial Distraction: This isn’t Wonder Woman; this is Queen Diana. Queen Diana is not the person you want on your bad side.
Slaus: I needed to be held.
Slaus: She slowly hung someone… someone who in our timeline.. was a friend!!
Digitial Distraction: Queen Diana is a billion times worse than Jason. Jason Vorhees will walk you down. Diana will fly up on you and jack you up. Super strength, flies, magic lasso, and in a permanent IDGAF mood. The people of Themiscara and the merfolk don’t give two flying figs about humanity. Diana did things that left me questioning all my comic book beliefs. Every one.
Slaus: Every… last one.
Slaus: Ok, we’re forgetting one thing though.. this story is about the Flash.
Slaus: And how he affected the world and must try to change it back.
Slaus: But… even with that being the main point… EVERYTHING ELSE somehow is so dramatic and…. deadly…and horrid that… you forget what’s really supposed to be going on. BUT it is so awful that you can’t stop thinking… SOMEONE has to STOP THIS.
Digitial Distraction: It’s about him, but the beauty is in how he’s not the thing you focus on for the majority of the movie. You will find yourself so speechless at times, you forget he’s who we’re here to see.
Digitial Distraction: I have to admit, the Flash showed some serious guts with what he went through.
Digitial Distraction: He endure some ordeals, and keeps coming back.
Slaus: LIKE A soldier. I have new respect for Barry after watching this.
Slaus: Yeah because if I was him? I would have just cried in the corner.
Digitial Distraction: Indeed.
Slaus: Because let me tell you… after that one “thing” and what ended up happening to him in trying to recreate what created the Flash?? OUCH.
Digitial Distraction: Yes. Yes. Yes. I was done. That would have been the end of the world if I was in his place
Slaus: I would have just taken the 0 on that assignment.
Slaus: This was a story with our favorite heroes like you TRULY have never seen them before. That’s not cliche or hype… it is the truth.
Digitial Distraction: Flash’s initial experience with Batman wasn’t cool either.
Slaus: Not not at all…
Digitial Distraction: You don’t expect your heroes to be like this, but it totally works here.
Slaus: For anyone out there who considers themselves even remotely a fan, they need to watch this. In my opinion, it’s the best dc animated movie yet. which says alot because DC animated movies are amazing
Digitial Distraction: Before we go any further, I have to tell you, when you see Superman, just… just try to run.
Slaus: Oh man.. for serious.
Digitial Distraction: This is not the Superman you love/hate/think is boring.
Digitial Distraction: I enjoyed this portrayal. It made so much sense.
Slaus: Much more sense in my opinion.
Slaus: And you know me.. I despise Superman.. and even I liked him here.
Digitial Distraction: This isn’t a spoiler. People will die. Lots of them. Do not, DO NOT watch this with your kids.
Slaus: Omg… do not watch with your kids!!! There are things that will happen that you are not ready to explain.
Slaus: What wonder woman did???? One of the most vile acts I’ve seen in a movie. Animated or not.
Slaus: I literally cringed
Digitial Distraction: Diana does a few things that will leave your jaw dropping.
Slaus: I actually gasped. I was simply not ready… for any of it.
Slaus: But, I stayed for the entire ride, and at the end…. so worth it.
Slaus: I had feels at the end… like… hand me the Kleenex brand tissue in order to help me with these feels.
Digitial Distraction: It really was worth it. Think of this movie as one of the best “what if” graphic novels, only animated.
Slaus: I need to actually own the graphic novel this is from now.
Digitial Distraction: Yes, you must get it.
Slaus: I want to go watch it again but… i don’t want nightmares.
Digitial Distraction: You watch this, and your thoughts about certain characters are forever altered. There is a huge capacity for madness in these people. The smallest of sparks sets it off.
Slaus: Honestly, this is the realest I’ve ever felt these characters.
Slaus: They felt so… human.
Slaus: And that’s not a good thing.
Digitial Distraction: Especially Superman, and he wasn’t the main focus.
Digitial Distraction: This was the first time I genuinely felt something for him. His situation was dealt with in the exact way I’d picture the government would handling him.
Slaus: Oh for sure.. I felt Bad for superman.. and I HATE SUPERMAN.
Slaus: That’s how good this movie was.
Digitial Distraction: And let’s not forget about Cyborg. He’s the guy you need in your corner.
Slaus: He is the soldier. He is the guy you want at your back.
Slaus: His character was so amazing.
Slaus: : sniff sniff ::
Digitial Distraction: None of that comic relief from Teen Titans. This is a different Cyborg.
Slaus: This is a man… a man on a mission.. a man with duty honor and focus. a man with a job to do at all costs.
Digitial Distraction: In this world, Cyborg is like the glue, trying hard to hold everything together. He has integrity, he has a ton of responsibility, and he is relentless. He never gives up. Aw man… This movie was so well done. I need a hug and another title to look forward to.
Slaus: After this, I don’t trust DC any longer.
Digitial Distraction: Ha!
Slaus: I wont watch any more of their movies without an adult present.
Digital Distraction: You always need an adult present, regardless.
Slaus: And a blanket.
Slaus: And some zoloft.
Digitial Distraction: *snickering*
Slaus: I don’t know how they could top this. but then again I said the same after Red Hood.
Digitial Distraction: And Red Hood was great!
Slaus: I’ll put it out there… this was as good or better than Red Hood.
Slaus: Just my opinion… but it was that good.
Digitial Distraction: I think the thing that makes these movies great is the genuine emotion tied in with great story telling. There’s none of the “DC formula” you mentioned. This is chaos, and how some heroes cope and in some cases, don’t cope with the things going on around them.
Slaus: So well said
Digitial Distraction: They can’t respond in their normal noble ways. They’re more like instinctual, gut reaction live wires.
Slaus: Backed in a corner.
Digital Distraction: With super powers.
Slaus: Look… if your readers aren’t planning to pick up this movie on the way home tonight, RIGHT NOW, I don’t know what they are doing with their lives.
Digitial Distraction: DC is doing something really smart. They’re taking our expectations of heroic behavior, and throwing them out the window. Instead, they’re giving us something raw and gritty and they laugh at us while chanting, “Deal with it!”
Slaus: So true.
Slaus: That movie should have come with $1 off tissue… and a number to a good therapist.
Digitial Distraction: Hahaha!
Digitial Distraction: Do not sleep on this title! It isn’t what you expect, it’s entertaining, and it’s brutal. EVEN LOIS LANE PACKED HEAT!
Slaus: Bet not bring your kiiiiiiiids.
Digitial Distraction: I will say this, Cerberus and minotaurs show up. This movie. Has. It. All.
Digitial Distraction: It’s like Michael Bay had an animated wet dream.
Slaus: And a few lines of coke.
Digitial Distraction: And then called John Wu to laugh about it.
Slaus: And a sadistic desire to just F our childhoods up.
Slaus: I’ll never look at underoos the same.
Digitial Distraction: Hahaha, your kids will have no idea why you rock back and forth when you pass the super hero underwear in Target.
Slaus: I think my wife found me flicking the lights on and off in the shower..fully clothed…clutching a batarang.
Digitial Distraction: Get gone! *hollering*
Slaus: “It’ll be ok, Bruce… it’ll be ok …”
Digitial Distraction: *sad face*
Slaus: ” ::sobs:: I…I am the NIGHT!’
Digitial Distraction: Noooo! You will not drag me down with you, ya bastid!
Slaus: I can’t wait till your readers watch it, hell.
Slaus: If I HAD to endure it, they have to also.
Slaus: My emotions!!!
Digitial Distraction: I experienced this movie. I didn’t just watch it. It was almost interactive. There were so many times I spoke to the television. “Aww dag. She did not just… WTF? W T F? Wow! Are you serious? I need a drink.”
Slaus: lmao and you don’t drink.
Slaus: :: rolllling ::
Digitial Distraction: Exactly!
Slaus: GO GET THIS MOVIE
Slaus: Quit playing!
Digitial Distraction: Flashpoint Paradox is available on Netflix. GET SOME, and tell us what you think. A special thank you to Slaus for joining me!